A Blood Angel’s Life chapter 1

Vaeline was neither angel nor demon.  He was one of the Shadows, able to enter Heaven and Hell with impunity.  However, the cat-like humanoid was currently working with the angels, so he spent most of his time in Heaven or on Earth.  Vaeline raced across the rooftops of Rome, making his way towards the Blood Angel. 

“Sanguine!” he called when he saw her. 

The Blood Angel was crouched on the edge of the rooftop, her large crimson wings folded against her back.  She glanced at him when he reached her side.  “Vaeline.”

“The High Council is beginning to worry about you.”

“Pray tell.”

“They are saying you have forgotten your duty.”

“My duty?  My duty is to bring justice to an unjust world.  Can you not hear the light bringer’s minions?  They whisper to the humans, telling them to do things that are wrong in the eyes of our Lord.”

“Sanguine, they have free will.  You are destroying them before they even choose to act on those whispers.”

“The thought is as bad as the action,” she snapped.  “I must destroy the darkness in their hearts lest it spread and destroy all that is good!”

“You are acting too soon, cousin!   You must let them choose their path.  Whether ‘tis the path of our Lord, or that of the Fallen.”  His tail accidently brushed her wing and she jumped, but he ignored her.  “You are becoming an assassin; taking the path of the Fallen.  If you are not careful, you will find yourself in the service of Lucifer.  Do you want that?”

She glared at him, and his hazel cat-eyes glared back.  “I am the Blood Angel.  I am Lady Justice.  It is my duty to protect the good by destroying the bad.”

“The people you are destroying are not stained by the devil’s hand.”

“They would be if I had not acted.”

“You do not know that.”

Sanguine’s anger dissipated, processing what Vaeline had said and the implications.

“You are not an oracle,” he continued.  “You do not know which path a man will take.  You do not know if he will sleep with his neighbor’s wife, murder his neighbor to have the man’s wife, or simply move on with his own live, not acting on his lust.  You do not know what choice he will make.”

“But he has lust in his heart,” she replied in an attempt to rationalize her actions.  “That is a sin in the eyes of our Lord.  ‘Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.’  It is a sin, and it is the beginning of a stain.”

“They are human!” Vaeline snapped, as he stood to face her, his ears flat against his skull, and claws extended.  “They are not perfect!  And that does not give you the right to kill them.”  He was breathing hard, trying to regain control.  “The High Council wants to see you.”

Sanguine stared at him, shocked by his outburst.  In all the years she had known the Shadow Walker, he had never acted like that.  It scared her more than her summons.

Published in: on January 28, 2011 at 10:07 am  Comments (10)  

Angel’s Demon, part two

“You’re a demon.”

“Yup.”

“You’re not allowed outside the Barrens.”

“So I’ve been told.”

Angel and her demon walked in silence for a few moments.   She kept giving sidelong glances to her companion.  With his long black hair pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, black horns curving back from the top of his head, large black leathery wings folded along his back, and dark red skin, he looked like a typical demon.  But the tail was different.  It, too, was red and it was long and skinny, but there was a tuft of black fur on the end, like a lion’s.  He was barefoot, but he wore a simple vest and extremely baggy pants—both black.

His golden eyes flicked to hers and he smirked.  “Like what you see, sweetheart?”

Angel rolled her eyes.  “As if.”

The pair was silent for a few more steps before the demon spoke up.  “Where are we going?”

“To my apartment,” Angel responded.

“Why do you live in an Outsiders district?”

“It was the cheapest thing I could get.  And it’s close to work.  Y’know, if you’re just going to complain, you can leave.”

“I can’t leave, doll face.  Not for the first twenty-four hours, at least.  Think of it as a trial period.”

“My name isn’t doll face.  It’s Angelina.  I hate doll face.”

“Maybe if you didn’t look like a damn doll, people wouldn’t call you doll face.”

Angel glared at him.  It wasn’t her fault her ivory skin refused to tan and her blond hair fell in almost perfect ringlets.  And so what if she was petite?

“So what was your name?” Angel asked a few minutes later.

“Dahryus.”

“D-A-R-I-U-S?”

“D-A-H-R-Y-U-S.”

“Why is it spelled funny?”

“How do you know the other version isn’t spelled funny?”

Angel didn’t have an answer, so she didn’t say anything as she lead her new demon up the stairs to her apartment.  She slid the key into the lock, but before she turned the key, she glared at Dahryus.

“If you make fun of my apartment, you will be sleeping out here.  Have I made myself clear?”

The demon saluted and gave her a cocky smirk.

She rolled her eyes and unlocked the door, flicking on the light switch as she entered.  The furniture was second class and none of it matched, but the only thing she cared about was the fact it was cheap and did what it was supposed to do.  Right now, she didn’t need to live fancy.  She’d do that later.

Angel set her purse on the kitchen table and draped her jacket over the back of one of the two chairs.  She turned to locate her demon . . . and wanted to bash her head into the wall.  He was standing in front of her book shelf, knees bent and arms slightly out with his palms down.  He was shifting his weight from side to side, and his tail flicked every now and then.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice annoyed.

Dahryus didn’t turn around and continued his defensive maneuvers.  “It’s like everywhere I go, their eyes follow me.”

Angel pinched the bridge of her nose and prayed for patience.  “They’re just porcelain dolls, Dahryus.”

“I think they’re possessed.”

“Whatever.”  She walked past him to her bedroom.  “You’re sleeping on the couch,” Angel told him as she slammed the door in the demon’s face.

Published in: on October 5, 2010 at 8:39 pm  Comments (10)  

Angel’s Demon, part one

Angel looked down the side street with the broken street lamps. Then she looked back towards the one she was already walking on with it’s bright pools of light. It was late, and she was tired after working overtime at the bar. If she took the darker way, she’d get to her apartment faster. But the lit street was, well, lit.

She looked between the two streets for a few moments more before she decided to go down the dark street.

As Angel walked along the cracked sidewalk, the night seemed to get darker. She quickedned her pace, and tried not to panic.

But she couldn’t keep her heart from trying to pound out her chest.

Angel stopped walking, ready to turn and run when a mist suddenly swirled around her. A blacker than night shadow loomed before her, and it raised an arm, ready to strike her.

Angel held up her arm to block it, the sleeve of her oversized leather jacket slipped down to expose bare skin.

Angel let out a whimper and shut her eyes as she waited for the blow to come.

Angel’s whimper turned into a cry of pain as metal hit her wrist and it felt like ice shot down her arm.

“Dammit!”

Angel’s eyes shot open. Her arm was still up, and a thick silver band encircled her wrist. Her eyes flicked from the cold metal to her attacker when she heard the deep male voice swear. Angel tried to pull her arm down, but it seemed to be connected to his.

“Quit moving, woman! Fucking gods, why did this happen?” He swore a few more times. “I, Dahryus, am bound to you,” he growled. “I am yours to command until the bond is severed, whether it be through word or death.”

Angel stared at the still dark figure. All she could tell was he was big and she was fairly certain those were horns.

“Well?” he asked, lifting their joined wrists. “Say you accept!”

“I–I accept.”

Published in: on September 27, 2010 at 2:36 pm  Comments (9)  

Dreams Become Reality

It seems the only place you can be mine is in my dreams.  The scenery and events don’t make any sense, but it doesn’t matter because you’re in here with me.

And it’s perfect.

Until I wake up and you’re no longer mine.

I see you everyday, and we spend so much time together.

But you don’t know how I feel about you.  You don’t know that I love you.

Or maybe you do, but you’re just afraid to admit it.

But that’s okay.  I’m willing to wait for you.  After all, I still have my dreams.

Even though I’m awake, I can still feel your arms around me, holding me tight.  I can’t stop grinning when I remember what you said to me.  How happy you were when you found out I loved you as much as you loved me.

One day, I promise you, those dreams will become a reality.

Published in: on September 11, 2010 at 9:01 pm  Comments (7)  

Hero/Villian

AN:  Here is my NaStySuMo story.  Yup.

My name is Thunder Thighs, and I’m a hero.

I help little old ladies cross the street.  I save kittens from trees.  I stop masked thugs from robbing banks.

And like every hero, I have my foes.

Darth Dry Cleaning likes to exploit my greed and curiosity by leaving me clothes with stuff in the pockets.

Lord Chemistry likes to make me angry.  He also says weird things.  Like “You are the potassium to my water.”  I guess he thinks we have an explosive relationship . . .

And then there’s Buzzsaw, my arch nemesis.  With whom I was meeting today.  I hated his place.  Booby traps every-freakin’-where.  Seriously, why couldn’t the guy have minions like everybody else?  Why did he have to plant spinning sharp objects all over the freakin’ place?

I looked behind me at the swinging axes I had just passed.  The ceilings in these halls were too low for me to jump efficiently, so I was always scared I’d screw up and get hit.  Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I jogged through the hall, turned the corner, and stopped.

“Buzzsaw!” I screamed.  “What the hell is your problem?!”  Seriously?! ?!  Freakin’ gods of everything!  I swan, this guy changes the layout of his place every time I come here.  This hall used to be empty.  Now I just about face-planted into some spikes.

Before me was the mother of all traps.  Spinning saw blades along the wall above a pit of spikes.  Second, was a platform with darts being shot across.  Third, a swinging spiky log with a beam halfway between the platforms for me to jump on.  Fourth, a platform with spikes in the floor that shot up after you stepped on them, more darts, and five spinning spiky columns.  Fifth, one more swinging ax above a pit of spikes.

I was going to kill him.

I watched the two blades, until the first one was at the top of its track, and the second at the bottom before running along the wall to the next platform, and rolling to the edge to avoid the darts.  There, I crouched at the edge, letting the log swing a few times, tracking its rhythm.   Right after it passed above me, I launched to the beam and pushed off immediately to the next platform, running as soon as my booted feet touched floor so I wouldn’t be impaled, slid through an opening between the columns, rolled under the darts.

 And off the edge.

~*~*~*

Great.  I was dead.  My body impaled on spikes.  If I opened my eyes, no doubt I’d see my bloody body, the thickish, crimson liquid running down the metal to stain the stone floor below.

However, when I opened my eyes, I found a patch of sunlight on the pale ceiling above me.  Buzzsaw didn’t have windows in his trap halls.  Sitting up quickly, I realized I was in a feather bed, wearing a long, baggy shirt that wasn’t mine.

“I knew that last jump was impossible for even you to make.”

My head whipped to the side, and my damp brown hair smacked me in the face.  My expression went from anger to confusion in less than a moment.  Damp?

“Thunder?” Buzzsaw asked, coming in to my view.  He sounded concerned, and it added to my confusion.

I shifted my attention to him.  He was tall, tan, and broad.  His black hair messy and, and grey eyes framed by dark lashed.

Too bad he was a villain.

Too bad I was a hero.

“Buzz . . . I should be dead.”

Buzzsaw took the chair next to my bed and smiled at me.  “Did I not just say I knew you would be unable to make that last jump?  There were not the usual spikes at the bottom.  There was water.”

That explained my hair.  “Wait, why?”

“I wanted to prove something to you.”  Before he continued he handed me a tea cup.  I looked at it, then at him.  There was a trap here, someplace.  But he nodded, and I took a tiny sip.  I couldn’t help but smile at the perfectly sweetened (aka sugar shock for anyone else) tea and took another drink.  “I do not want you to die,” he said when he was satisfied with my acceptance of his offering.   “You and I are foils, and we need each other.  A villain has no purpose if he does not have a hero to challenge him.”

“But I have other foes.”

“Who?  Darth and Chemistry?”  He laughed.  “They are not like us.  They are naught but bit players.  How long does it take you to defeat them?  Two minutes?  How long does it take you to defeat me?”

He had a point.

“Thunder, we complement each other.  Besides, I could easily kill you, and you could easily kill me.  After all,” he said, laying his hand on my thigh.  “You could easily crush my head between those thighs of yours.”

I looked at his hand, and back at him, arching a brow.  “And what the hell is your head doing there in the first place?”

“Oh, I could think of a few things,” he replied with a grin.  I smacked his hand away and he laughed.  “As I was saying, we need each other.  So I will not try to kill you, and I will destroy anyone who thinks they can attempt it.”

I was silent as I looked at him.  He wasn’t lying, and that kinda made me uneasy.  But a deal is a deal.

“Okay.  I won’t kill you, either.”

After all, a hero didn’t have a purpose if she didn’t have a villain.

Published in: on August 15, 2010 at 12:57 pm  Comments (14)  

A Warrior for a Winged Girl

Here is a gift for my buddy Alyssa!

A Warrior for a Winged Girl

After several days of contemplation and mind-changing, the ninja finally figured out what to give Alyssa for her birthday.  Now, all this ninja needed to do was kidnap her.

“Oh, Alyss!” Kylie said in a sing-song voice as she skipped into the DS.  “I have a present for you.  Well, actually, I have to kidnap you and deliver you to the person who will take you to the place in which you will receive your present.  So I don’t actually have your present.  And I don’t think it would fit into a box.  Well, it could, but it might get a little bloody.  Unless of course you get a baby one.  Even then, that might be a big box.”  Then she noticed everyone was looking at her funny.  “What?!”

“Kylie,” Antonio said cautiously.  “Is this present dangerous?”

The ninja thought about for a moment before replying with a grin, “There is the potential for life-threatening-ness!”

“What kind of life-threatening?” Marsha asked.

“Hmm.  I suppose Alyss could get eaten.  But I doubt that’ll happen,” she said with a dismissive gesture.  “Kitty and Meus will keep her safe.  Now, let’s go!”

The ninja grabbed Alyssa’s hand before anyone could say anything else and they vanished in her red ninja poof.  In the next moment, they reached their destination; Alyssa glanced around at her surroundings.  The sky was purple, the road they were currently on zigzagged, and there was a drop on either side.  She glanced over the edge, but all she could see were orange clouds.  Farther down, she could see a huge bull’s skull, and a blue building with a sign that read “BJ’s Roadhouse”.

“Welcome to the Neitherworld!” the ninja said, still grinning.  She stopped with an almost visible jerk.  No one could see her grin since her mask was on.  Insert facepalm here.

“So this is the Neitherworld?” Alyssa asked the ninja.

“Yuppers.”  She then started running down the road, tugging Alyssa along.  The woman’s wings flapped out briefly, before she clasped them back around herself.

As they neared the Roadhouse, a loud yipping came from the skull house across the street.  Kylie made a detour and ran up to the fence surrounding the house.

“Shush, Poopsie,” she said to the strange little pink dog with horns and funky tail.  The ninja reached over the fence to pet the dog.  “The-Monster-Across-The-Street lives here,” she explained to Alyssa before leading her back to the Roadhouse.

When they reached the door, Kylie didn’t even bother knocking, and walked right in.

“Hey!” Beetlejuice yelled from the couch.  “Don’t ya know how ta knock?!  I coulda been naked here.”

“Could have,” the ninja replied happily.  “But I didn’t write it that way, so it’s all good.  Where’s Kitty?”

“In the kitchen,” he grumbled.  “This idea of yer’s is crazy.  Y’know that, right?”

“I know.  That’s why it’s fun.”

“Whatever.”  The ghost, who wanted nothing to do with this, returned his attention to the tv.

The ninja rolled her eyes.  “Ignore him, Alyss-chan.”  She pulled Alyssa to the kitchen.  “And ignore the mess.  Beetlejuice is a slob, but we love him anyway.”  Alyssa, who had no idea what was going on, just nodded and let the girl lead her.

When they entered the kitchen, Kitty stood up and turned to face them.  She was wearing her bodice, skirt, stockings, and boots, but her goggles and trench coat were missing.

“Hey, guys,” she said in a voice identical to the ninja’s.  Zazie slithered out from behind her and gave a happy little mewl.

“Whaddup, Kitty-cat!  Hey, Alyss, guess what!”

Alyssa took in a deep breath and asked, “What?”

“Kitty’s Neitherworld outfit is based on my avatar’s in Vampire Wars on Facebook.”

Alyssa blinked, not entirely sure what to do with this tidbit of information.  “Cool.”

“Well, it’s just that Antonio said we were doing Vampire Appreciation for you, and there are no vampires in this story, so I thought I’d share that.  Y’know, to fill the Vamp Appreciation Quota.”

“Well, you filled the quota then.  Now . . . what exactly am I doing here?”

“I’m taking you to Saturn,” Kitty answered.  “So let’s go.”  She took Alyssa’s other hand and grabbed her coat and goggles on the way out of the kitchen.  “Don’t break anything,” she said to her boyfriend as they left.

“Okie dokie,” the ninja said, relinquishing her hold on Alyssa.  “Don’t let her get eaten.”

“No worries,” Kitty said with a grin.  She then put her fingers to her lips and let out a long, loud whistle.  A moment later, a sandworm slithered onto the road out of the clouds.  “Alyssa, this is Meus.”

The sandworm bowed his giant, stripped head.  It is a pleasure to meet a friend of my Mistress’ ninja twin.

“Sweetheart, she can’t hear you.”

Meus’ two pairs of yellow eyes snapped open, and they filled with embarrassment.  My apologies, Mistress Kitty.

“It’s all good.  Okay, take us to that Gathering thing you were talking about.”

The sandworm nodded and lowered his body so the two could get on.  Kitty looked over her shoulder at Alyssa.  “You might want to hold on,” she said, holding the spine in front of her.

“Hold on to what?” Alyssa muttered.  This thing was way wider than any horse she’d been on and he didn’t exactly have a mane.  However, the decision was made for her when Meus shot over the edge and she instinctively flung her arms around Kitty’s waist.

~*~*~*~*

Kitty and Alyssa slid off Meus’ back when they came to the Gathering.  Meus, with Kitty translating, explained that the purpose of the Gathering was basically all the sandworms would get together, talk about any problems throughout their lands, fight over females, and general “How’s the family” discussion.  Earlier, Meus had told the others that his Mistress was bringing a friend who was interested in them and had expressed the desire to connect.  Now, a ring of a few dozen sandworms surrounded the two breathers.

A small male nosed Alyssa’s folded wings and looked towards Kitty.

“He wants to see your wings,” Kitty said after Meus told her what the youth wanted.

“Um, okay.”  Alyssa unfurled her wings and the sandworm jerked back.

You are part bat? asked a male even larger than Meus.  He lowered his huge head to be on eye level with Alyssa.

She blinked at the sandworm, silver scars crisscrossing his body.  “Not exactly.  My friend decided I should have wings, so I do.”

You are so small and fragile.  How do you not get hurt?

“Fragile?!  I am not fragile!!”

You are compared to a sandworm.

Alyssa opened her mouth to argue, but she supposed he had a point.

Kitty tapped her on her shoulder.  “Alyssa, can you hear him in your head?”

“Yeah,” Alyssa replied without hesitation.

The girl grinned and crossed her arms, her hip cocked to the side.  “Looks like you’ve connected with a warrior.”

Alyssa glanced from Kitty to the sandworm.

“Hey, Kylie told me about that demon of yours.  If he ever gives you trouble, I bet this guy here will set him straight.”

Alyssa couldn’t help but smile at the idea of this beast of a sandworm chasing Minias.

“Soooo, what’s his name.”

The winged blonde cocked her head and looked at her battle-scarred sandworm.  “Soldaat.”

Then Soldaat I shall be, my Lady Alyssa. 

Published in: on July 16, 2010 at 10:25 pm  Comments (10)  

Of Angry Ninjas and Missing Ghosts and Demons

The ninja was starting to get worried about the continued disappearance of a certain poltergeist and demon. They couldn’t get into too much trouble, could they? Well, Beej could . . . and he might have been able to talk Minias into something. No doubt the ghost had a con in mind that would require the demon’s assistance.

Therefore, now that she was appropriately concerned, the ninja set off in search of them.  First, she went to various bars, asking if they had seen a crazy blonde in a striped suit and ridiculous magenta shirt, accompanied by a guy with curly brown hair.  No one had.  So she went to the local whorehouses.  And found nothing.

“Arg!  Where are they?!”  She could easily summon Beej, but she wasn’t sure if she could summon Minias.  Which was why she was searching the old school way. 

Annoyed, the ninja found her way to a Starbucks.  After she had paid and gotten her vanilla bean frappachino with a shot of caramel, she turned and say the pair at a table in the corner.  She assumed Minias had something from behind his coffee cup because Beej started laughing.

Apparently, they were not aware of the ninja’s presence.

Quickly, the ninja made her way to their table.  Still, they were oblivious.  In fact, they didn’t know she was there until she set down her drink on the table.  She crossed her arms, her hip cocked to the side.

“Hello boys,” she said quietly.

They gulped and looked at her.

“Hey, babes,” Beej said with a nervous laugh.  “Have I mentioned lately that I love you?”

“Why did you leave?”

“We just wanted some coffee.”

“For two days?”

“Uh, well, Miss Ninja, there was the casino as well.” Minas said nervously.  He really hoped the ninja wasn’t too angry.  From what Al told him about what the girl wanted to do with Nick . . .

“For two days,” she repeated.

“Yes.”

She was silent, thinking it over.  “Did you win?” she finally asked.

“Duh,” was Beej’s reply.

“Oh, okay then,” she said happily.  The ninja picked up her drink.  “Awesomesauce.  Now, you’d best come back.  Minias, you’re Alyss’ demon for the month, remember?”

“Yes, I remember,” he said with a sigh.  Then his eyes widened in shock when the ninja smacked the back of his head.

“Good.  See ya later!”  Then she vanished in her red ninja-poof.

Published in: on April 21, 2010 at 10:41 am  Comments (12)  

Wings and Pixie Dust

Here is my story for Pixie Appreciation and Jenn’s Birthday!

The ninja blinked several times before she tried to unstick her hands.  In her attempt to make wings, she ended up super-gluing her hands together.

“Note to self,” the ninja mumbled, trying to pull her palms apart.  “Don’t clap while handling super-glue.”

She jumped when Jenn landed on her wrists.  The pixie woman fisted her hands on her hips and raised her brow.

“Kylie, what are you doing?”

“Trying to make wings with fabric, wood, and super-glue.  Then I clapped ‘cause I’m crazy like that, and ended up gluing my hands together.”

The pixie was able to keep a relatively calm façade for about point-five-seconds.  “Oh my gosh, Kylie!” she managed to say between gasps of much needed air.  Once she stopped laughing, Jenn lifted up in the air to sprinkle pixie dust on the ninja’s glued hands.  “Why were you making wings?”

The ninja shrugged, watching the pixie work.  “I was bored.”

“I couldn’t imagine you being bored when you can spend time with your demon.”

“He’s busy being a slave-trading demon.”

“Oh.  So then why didn’t you draw some wings?”

“As awesomesauce as that would be, I wanted to actually make them.”

Jenn nodded and dropped a bit more dust on the ninja’s hands.  “Okay, try it now.”

Kylie slowly pulled her hands apart.  “Woot!  I would glomp you, Jenn-chan,” she said with her cat smile, “but you are too tiny at the moment.”  Then she held up her fist.  “How about a fist bump, instead?”

Jenn laughed again, and hit the ninja’s fist with her own.  “That’ll work!”

What would I do without you, Jenn? xD

Published in: on April 6, 2010 at 4:38 pm  Comments (8)  

In Which Al Gets Glomped

Algaliarept stood in his kitchen, checking his inventory before Rachel came over on Saturday.  He was alone.

Or so he thought.

From the safety of the shadows on the high ceiling, a pair of blue-grey eyes, glittering with mischief, tracked his movements.  When Al had his back to the table, the ninja took the opportunity to drop.  She landed in a crouch on the table top, not making a sound.  She held her breath, hoping the demon didn’t turn around.

The ninja crawled across the table to position herself behind him.

As he turned he heard a happy little squeal of “Al!” and the ninja launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his middle.  He hit the hard floor with a “Oof.”  The ninja nuzzled her head against his chest, eyes closed and a happy little cat smile on her face.

“Oh my gosh!  You were total awesomesauce!  I can’t wait till the next book because there will be more of you!”  She sat up, straddling his stomach.  “But then Book Ten will be out, and you’re not in that one.  For which I will be sad.”

Al stared up at her, his red goat eyes wide in shock.  “How did you–”

“Get here?” the ninja supplied eagerly.  “Well, I’m a ninja.  Duh.”  She leaned over him and gave him an Eskimo kiss.  “I’d best be going before the other NaSties try to drag me back.  See ya later, babe!”  With that, she disappeared in a puff of red smoke.

Published in: on March 18, 2010 at 7:15 pm  Comments (8)  

Things I Don’t Understand

I’ve been told I’m one smart cookie.  But there are things I simply can’t understand.

1)  Wild chickens.  I realize once upon a time there were wild chickens, but now?  Doesn’t somebody own that chicken?!  On the first episode of this season’s Survivor, the Hero Team were at their little campsite, and these three chickens came out of the trees!  And people just grabbed them!  I about had a fit.  I kept asking my mom why they stole those chickens.  I was pretty certain those chickens belonged to someone.  But, apparently, they were . . . wild.

2)  Nothing.  I do not understand the concept of nothing.  Like what’s in the space between atomic particles.  And what in Space.  I looked it up one time, actually.  Every site said there wasn’t anything.  How is this possible?!  And vacuums.  There isn’t anything in them!  How?!?!  There has to be something!

3)  Current fashion.  What were they thinking?!?!  Sorry, girls, but I do not wanna see your hoo-haw.  And guys?  I am going to laugh if you faceplant because you tripped over your pants.  And there are just some chicks who don’t look good in a mini-skirt.

4)  Stoners.  I think this one is self-explanatory.

That’s all I can think of at the moment.

Published in: on March 5, 2010 at 4:04 am  Comments (4)